Stressful time. Christmas coming up and we still haven't got a tree! Got quite a few things to sort out still. I'm SOOOO tired!

I once was lost but now I am found. Living the Laaandan life. Everything has meaning and I now know things in a special way :)

Happy Halloween!

traumatic weekend. good weather. better times. need to push forward. autumn leaves and nature. outside, walks. love and giving. receiving. being.

oh yeah, and i want to see this and other movies in the cinemas. i should maybe try and ask my cousins out sometime :) i hope things continue to go well with the bf as i'm a bit on edge, but other than that it is all wonderful.

need to watch more movies. just finished buffy season one. want to watch charmed again. and practical magic. the hills, the city, heroes and GG are all keeping me company. gotta make a move on planning my year and i'm in london next week. good luck to me.

Life feels grizzly, but love and life are carrying me through. "Angels in my hair" book. Tv shows. Phone calls. Stressful time though.

Changing. Loving. Remembering.
I love my angels.

it's not been amazing living back in boring england again. but i'm getting through this day by day and slowly but surely sorting things out. i just hope i'm not stuck here for so much longer before it sucks the life out of me in another impending cycle of doom. music is good, been listening to so many new albums and singles recently, it's just kept me going. rich and i had a texting session the other night, it was nice to hear from him again. andy's called me twice, i'm working on my conversation with him. but it's nice to know i'm not alone in this. just family getting me down, plus the things i have to do to move forwards. but i'm sure things can work out.

Amazing even though it's the deadliest continent on the planet. I enjoyed my stay thoroughly and I only long to find some place as amazing someday, or to even go back there in the future. It was a breath of fresh air, I saw many different creatures and plants/trees. There was literally everything in one country - seas, forests, mountains, national parks, walks and beaches. I wish i could stay there forever, become a lifeguard and swimming instructor and live enjoying my life there. Ahh..

Australia for three weeks :) I'm so excited, hopefully it will be just as amazing as Canada. I'm most looking forward to the first week where we'll be travelling by car and stopping in different parts. Hopefully it will be enjoyable and my parents won't always argue, or make me feel uncomfortable. I'm glad I can put everything out, all of my love and happiness. It's good i'm feeling more and more okay, but the challenges are yet to come and I'll handle them confidently now. I'm a tough, hot chick ;)

All I want is the cool water at my feet with the great big sea as far as I can see. I want beauty all around me so I can breathe, the warmth of the sun and no one bothering me. I long for this freedom to return to me. I often wonder what I deserve, and surely I deserve this? I'd do anything to start over before the darkness claws back into me. I want to be on a small plane above the thousands of treetops, past odd looking mountains with snow caps still on the very tops. I want a small plane to drop me off on a coast, with a secluded beach. A VW van and I'd be on my way, road trips throughout wherever I was. Just me, on the road. Being free.

Beat Radio. Longing for freedom. Movies. Boring stuff like ironing and sorting out papers. :/

i need to be far away. i miss the feeling i got from being in Canada. such a breathtaking and spacious places full of wonderous sights. i miss being there. wish i could just escape, set up home where no one would find me in the middle of all those trees and mountains - they do still have remote places over there. it would be lovely. my dream. just shut myself off from society for most of my days, go into a small town for company but otherwise hide out until i was ready. i could love the scenery around me, and in turn it would love me back by showing me its beauty daily. that's all i need or want.

Change. The uknown. Summer's ending feeling. I just want to be free, be wild and have my own place. I want to belong and be happy.

Next steps. Love. Flowing words.

& you know, i hate the constant rain.

The best places are places you haven't experienced. Michael Jackson's death. Coming back to rain when away there was a heatwave!

Sunny day. Chicken Kiev & Ice cream. Italy in less than two weeks!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. A whole lot of ass kicking.

Weird dreams. Taking it easy. Packing.

Boom Boom Pow! You've made your bed, so sleep in it! Not looking back.

summer smells. tunes. a lot of will, longing & love.

Mysteries. A week left here. Is there hope in the sky?

lazy sunday. his birthday. missing watersports.

we're changing our ways, taking different roads
love, love will tear us apart again.

walks. hot hot heat. movies.

someone kidnap me

and take me

to a beach?

The weather outside is warm and inviting.

I don't know. I decided to make another blog. I may delete it.